Why cats are secretly dragons

By Guylaine Brunet (originally posted to Flickr as oeil) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Not all that long ago I posted about how wizards and mad scientists share an archetype. Today it occurred to me that cats are actually dragons in disguise. Here’s why:

  • Eyes: Just look into a cat’s sliver-shaped pupils and tell me that’s not a dragon looking back at you.
  • Movement: Cats slide around corners and snake through small spaces. Their movements are nothing if not serpentine.
  • ColdBlooded: Sure, the textbooks say that cats are mammals, but that’s just a conspiracy. The way they seek out warm laps and sunny patches clearly shows reptilian heritage.
  • Deadly breath: Dragons cough up fireballs. Cats cough up furballs. PoTAYto/PoTAHto.
  • Shape-shifters: Fur instead of scales? That’s what they WANT you to see.
  • Sleeping Habits: I’ve never left a stack of treasure on the floor, but judging from the amazingly improbable places cats choose for their naps, it seems likely that they would love nothing more than to curl up atop a bunch of diamonds and gold coins. In the absence of a horde of wealth, they make do with piles of clean laundry, shopping bags, or any other bed that seems even remotely more “special” than its surroundings.

Doesn’t it make sense? After all, the dragon species probably got tired of knights in shining armor always galloping around trying to slay them and take their treasure. That kind of thing really cuts into nap time, you know.

And what better position to spy on humanity than from our own laps?

Well, as long as they keep purring and chasing laser pointers instead of burning down villages, I’m happy to keep them around.

About Sechin Tower

Sechin Tower is a teacher, game developer, and author of MAD SCIENCE INSTITUTE, a novel of creatures, calamities, and college matriculation. He lives in Seattle, Washington.
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One Response to Why cats are secretly dragons

  1. Matthew says:

    Also, some other (mostly physical) features that are similiar to cats and dragons are
    * Light weight- Dragons need to be light to fly
    * Strong hind legs- Dragons would need to have strong hind legs to take off
    * Hydrophobia- As most cats dislike water, most dragons dislike water
    * Act like gods- Any cat owner knows that cats think as them selves as Juggernauts, they act like gods, as I imagine a dragon would

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